Churn Butter Churn

File Number JCBC006

Issue #6

Last issue: Big Sylvia had a nightmare, caused by her eating bad sheep meat. The nightmare turned out to be more than a dream, as Sylvia found out when she woke up. Issue #6 Billy?s father, after rolling in the grass and stealing some ice cream from the ice cream man, realized he was 67 years old. This did not prompt him to change out of his donkey suit, but he did take the silly llama smile he had been wearing off his face. This was a very difficult procedure for a cute little old man. The smile was made of genuine llama lips and the adhesive used to keep them on was some strong stuff - made out of Epoxy and other coconut products. So the old man, 76 years old to be exact, used his plastic nails in an attempt to tear off the now annoying llama smile he had bought from the East Indies. All the while, the old man - his name was Andy - was walking down the street away from his home where Billy sat, still crying his eyes out into the potatoes. Several days later, Andy smiled for reallies when he was finally able to get the llama lips off of his own. He also found two shiny pennies and a stick of chewing gum. I suppose this is what excited him the most. So Andy walked along the street, not quite sure where he was, but content and willing to sing a song to himself: When life is good and there?s peace like lambs Eat yourself some beefy yams And if you?ve worked through harvest time Eatin? yams ain?t no crime Refrain So yam yourself a merry merry Christmas Fill your days with yams And if those yams are hearty Like they oughta beeeee Then yam yourself a merry merry Christmas day A UPS truck then screeched to a halt directly in front of the old man. ?Excuse me, sir, were you just singing a song about the most loved of all the tubers, the yam?? ?That?s right, friend.? Everything was then black in Andy?s head. Five men had jumped out of the UPS truck and beat poor old Andy over the head with various giraffe parts. Andy was no match for the genetically engineered meat and fell unconscious to the ground. One man took the llama suit off of Andy. It was sad to see. The little man was in the middle of the street, naked and bruised by frozen giraffe meat. To top it off, the Mafia members saw the llama lips that Andy had courageously removed and, after discussing it for three minutes, stapled them onto Andy?s lips. So, even four hours later, there was a beaten old man wearing llama lips in the middle of the street. Fortunately, the Mafia was slowed down a bit. After driving away from the scene, the Mafia?s truck was totaled. A plane was shipping caged giraffes to the new plant at P&D Circus when out fell a cage carrying a witch that landed in the front seat of the UPS truck. Two men were dead and the other three were only strong enough to limp away.

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