Churn Butter Churn

File Number JCBC005

Issue #5

Update: Billy still stuck in the mashed potatoes, minus one arm. His father wore a donkey suit and rolled in the grass. The circus is being taken over. Sylvia is running away with only a pillow case, a spot of blood on her finger, and tasty sheep jerky. Issue #5 Big Sylvia was trying to run away, but one detail that was left out was that Sylvia was not just Sylvia, but that she was Big Sylvia. Sylvia did not like her nickname Big Sylvia, but Sylvia could not do much about being called Sylvia, Sylvia?s name in the first place, with only ?big? added to the front of it. So Big Sylvia, tearin? away at her sheep jerky was trying to run along down in the sewer. She figured there would be plenty of silly rats to eat if she got hungry. This was only the seventh time in her ten years on Earth that Sylvia would be out on the streets, becoming a gewgaw of the night. I have been gewgawish myself, but never a gewgaw at night because I thought it would hurt my belly, being permanently gewgawish and all. So Sylvia ran through the sewers that had come to mean beauty and happiness to her. Occasionally, as the sheep jerky was finally starting to spoil, Big Sylvia would hallucinate and pictures of the Jirafa Mafia would appear on the sewer walls. Sylvia had already seen two friends die at the hands of the Jirafa Mafia. She remembered the gruesome image of Gertrude being shot with the pellet gun- right in the belly, too. Sylvia, after seven hours of running was completely intoxicated by the bad sheep meat. She had a horrific dream: Four children were sitting down at a table, all with lumberjacks? boots in their hands. There was one plate in the middle of the table. Sylvia could not make out what was on the plate. Yet, the children were all looking at each other with accusation. One child began to beat the girl with three nostrils that sat beside him. She was a good sniffer and had reached her hand out to grab the plate when the other child pulled her tongue out of her mouth and began to sing to it. He sang: Little bunny Fufu hoppin? thru the forest Up jump the field mice and bop ?em on de? head And then the giraffe fairy said Little bunny Fufu, I don?t wanna see you The nostriled girl flared her mighty nostrils to show that she was angry and then leapt up, grabbing the mean boy with her nostrils, slinging his body to the pile that had been formed in the corner of the room. The room was yellow with brown spots. The three-nostriled girl was now happy and smiled, showing that she was not only a three-nostriled girl, but a three-toothed girl as well. Sylvia, although still asleep, laughed, thinking how difficult it would be to eat sheep jerky and other top-of-the-line meats with only three teeth. And the dream continued: The two other children who witnessed the flinging of the boy from ?mean girl?s? nostrils ran to the other side of the room. There were balloons on that side of the room and the two children hugged the balloons like children usually hug barrels of dynamite. Three-nostriled girl looked at the plate and then stampeded toward the balloon-loving girl and boy. First, the boy cried, telling multinostril that he would not tell anyone of the now infamous nostril flinging. He also told her that he did not like wetting the bed and that grass is fun to roll in. She told him that she did not believe him, but that she would give him a Snoopy shoelace and her favorite earmuff for his troubles. He then wet himself and cried some more. The balloon-hugging girl was not afraid because she had a pillowcase. Pillowcase girl covered nostril-potent girl?s head with the pillowcase, but was not strong enough to keep the beast from sucking her head to the giant nose. The image made Sylvia shudder and she woke up in a sweat. ?Aheeeeeeeeeeyooooowh,? cried Sylvia. Around her neck was a Snoopy shoelace. On her mouth was an earmuff covered in blood. Against the wall was a giant woman with a pillowcase over her head. Big Sylvia tucked her fat into her shirt and began to run through the sewers once again. As she looked back, Sylvia saw the shadow of a giraffe. Big Sylvia wondered how a giraffe would fit in the sewers.

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