The Sun was five minutes from setting and Little Billy was playing a game of four square with three of his friends, Douglass, Betty, and Sylvia. Billy was in the High Square and Betty was in the Lowest Square. They were playing the game in Douglass' driveway where his mom sat watching with a pitcher of Kool-Aid by her seat. Billy's mother then called him in. "Little Billy" she whispered. "Your supper is ready." "Just a minute, Mama," Billy shouted back! "You speak quietly and I don't want none of it." Billy's mama had small teeth, for otherwise she would have bit him on the cheek. Instead she made do with her coarse tongue, making Billy think he was being attacked by sandpaper. "I guess I will come in then, mother." Billy walked into the house as Betty was losing her brains through a small puncture in her head. As he passed by he shouted at the threesome, "You know I won you little pukes! And Betty, you're dead, so could ya shut up?" Sitting down on the lovely wicker chair, Billy grabbed his fingers and stuck them in the mashed potatoes. Unfortunately, his little sister, Gertrude, had already done the same, leaving a fingernail and gry for poor Billy. Little Billy grabbed his sisters engagement ring and tried to steal it. His sister, being quite fond of the finger piece, took her spoon and jabbed him in the ribs. His sister had been engaged for the past six years when her fiancée left to fill up the gas tank in the car. They were planning on getting married as soon as he came back. The ring that Billy had tried to take was the product of only ½ a year's work. You see, it was the Cracker Jack model 2A. Well, it just so happened that Gertrude, which happened to be her name, was a victim of premature rhigamortis, causing her to act like an old lady, occasionally falling down stairs. Gertrude was and acrobat for the Penelope and Dalphis Circus. However, because of the extreme stiffness of rhigamortis, she was only able to perform stunts, which required no flexibility. She would, upon request, balance upside down on a ring, with? At this time I would like to direct your attention to the fact that the original manuscript from this point on is no longer in existence do to the Great War. The following conclusion is merely the artist rendition of what could have happened next to fit into the series properly. ?a shovel in one hand and a bucket of horse knees in the other. Gertrude, seizing the moment, promptly practiced this feat while her brother gnawed at the mashed potatoes engulfing his hand. After several unforgettably dismal seconds, the mashed potatoes freed itself of the gry-stricken hand and convulsed violently. Billy began to poor some of the gasoline that had been sitting on the table into his bellybutton. He snickered with grim satisfaction as it finally filled and began to overflow. Meanwhile a large section of Douglass's torso hurled itself through the living room as all the windows in the neighborhood shattered. And before the timeline is corrupted any further by this sequence of events, we draw issue #1 to a close. Thank you for your cooperation. Exits can be found at the top of both pockets and to the rear of the ampitheater.

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