Mike Allen

Head Hunter

Michael Allen, dubbed "Mauler" by the Jirafa elitist was genetically engineered in the Jirafa cloning labs in the late 70s. He was the first genetically engineered human that P&D designed and has proven most useful in the last few decades. Though he himself is a vegetarian by design, his job description entails over-seeing from the final stages of the Jirafa's life in the compound to their release into the wild to their final harvesting. Mauler leads a posse into the wilderness of Jirafa Island every few days to hunt the Jirafa's down and to bring the Jirafa Meat back to the packaging plant. From years of experience, Mauler has found that through the process of stalking the Jirafas days on end, until they are exhausted and from brutally hacking at their impaled bodies, the Jirafa Meat becomes both tender and juicy. Though always equipped with a complete arsenal of weapons, Mauler's weapon of choice has always been the Croquet Mallet. He had a mallet custom built from a tree that a giraffe attempted t hide behind during his first kill. He calls his mallet his "Tenderizing Darling." Mauler is also a colonel in the Jirafa Mafia. Though currently on the inactive list, from time to time he is activated to help quell insurrections and contain mob violence when there are meat shortages.

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