Little is known about the origins of David Jackson. Yes, there was that incident in Brazil with the laundering and the knifing and the crying, but let us not dwell on such poppycock. Such is the talk of commoners and thieves, earthlings, as I like to say. And when we are speaking of David Jackson’s origins we should not speak of Earth or earthlings. We should instead speak of the land of Haberdashery; for this is the land from whence he came. The land of Haberdashery, as any being of higher intelligence will know, is a land of creative and highly skilled businessmen and inventors. In the case of the now mythical Jackson these two beings were fused. And what a spark he has lit on our humbled Earth. That is all the pretty stars can tell us about his origins. However, more important than his origins: we can attest to his amazing grasp of the subtleties of meats and their flavors. With this ability David has given our company an edge over ordinary meat-peddlers. When we ship you our newest and tastiest genetically engineered giraffe we can say with pride that David Jackson – the finest representative of Haberdashery – has personally tasted anything you’ll sink your teeth into. And that, my friends is the origin of happiness, yours and mine.
Back to List of Links Back to Main Page